Bushido Blade, In A Class By Itself, Totally Retro Tuesday

Bushido Blade Red Shadow panties
 
What’s going on In your internet blogger pal Jimmy D’s head this Tuesday?
 
At LAST, after a loooooong hiatus, I thought it was time again to whirl you all back in time for another Totally Retro Tuesday!
 
For this edition, we have a personal joy for Yours Truly, friends and neighbors, one of my ALL-TIME favorite games on ANY gamming console, let alone the original Playstation.
 
 I am, of course, talking about the “cult” fighting game classic from Squaresoft, Bushido Blade
 
Bushido Blade Cover
 
Why haven’t you heard of Bushido Blade and what makes it so freakin’ great ye may ask?
 
Well, to answer the first hypothetical question, that’s PROBABLY because you’re a young whiny little shite who was born after all the great innovative games were already made…so it sucks to be you…
 
And I really DO MEAN that “whiny shite” and sucks thing in the mostly lovingly affectionate, playful way possible…err….I think. 😉 😀
 
And for the answer to the second, because, the original “Double B” is vastly different in two major ways from any other modern fighter ever made.
 
It ain’t a “button masher.”
 
Oh yeah, and there’s no stupid health bar either.
 
So…how do you know when your guy or your assclown opponent has won? Easy, when one of you is DEAAAD…uhh yeah…VIRTUALLY speaking...;)
 
 
 
You see, Bushido Blade is simply this, two samurai warriors, in a Kurosawa-movie-esque environment of you or your opponent’s choice, with the bladed weapon of your choice (hence the title) a duel to the death, and the most important point….it’s one shot, one kill!
 
Bushido Blade koolaide guts
 
That’s right. Bushido Blade isn’t a freakin’ slugfest. There’s no dicking around trying to pummel your virtual opponent to death or hitting the right stupid buttons to get the fantastically ridiculous combo pack or finishing moves. It’s as it would be IN THE REAL WORLD if you decided to go mano-e-mano (or mano-e-woman…uhh…o) with somebody using razor-sharp cutlery….if you get cut, you die.. right then and there. It’s over!
 
That’s how the game is played. You jockey around, looking for that “fatal” opening, and then you strike. This can take ten nanoseconds, or ten minutes, but eventually, one of you is going to screw up…and get sliced and diced!
 
And there’s nothing like it!
 
Though, I suppose you don’t HAVE to kill each other, you could run around like a bunch of sissy boys all day long, if you want.
 
Bushido Blade Gimme back my Snickers bar
 
That’s one of the great beauties of this early-modern console fighting game. While the “arenas” where you fight are specific, they’re also fairly open-ended as well, and provide you both TONS of room to fight in.
 
Even for a game made back in 1997 (Yes, 1997 😉 ) this game still looks cool. The characters are somewhat imaginative. One can choose from a classic samurai, to a dweebie teenager in his pajamas, to a clear ripeoff of Dread Pirate Westley Roberts, to a “polygonally hot” Russian ninja babe, and there’s even some unlockables as well.
 
Bushido Blade dread pirate
Thanks for the updat, Dread Pirate Roberts!!
 
There’s a story mode too, where the whole concept of Bushido, AKA the “honor code” of the samurai comes into play (i.e. if you don’t fight fair, you don’t get to win the game, even if you DO kill everybody! ) But the most fun in the game comes from the VS mode with your friends or the “Slash mode” where you get to practice your s’ward technique by cutting up funny looking ninja dudes and sword-wielding prostitutes…err…I mean GEISHAS. 😉
 
There’s a variety of weapons to pick from too, from the classic Japanese Katana sword (naturally 😉 ) to European rapiers, spears, and warhammers. And yes, all the above have varying strengths and weaknesses, so choose… wisely!!
 
All and all, while yes, they did eventually make a sequel to this game in ’98 (and I hear tell there’s even more Bushido Blades in Japan) it never quite lived up to the originality and simplicity or the original. I think this game never took off precisely BECAUSE of the reasons it was different…nerdy fighting game fanboys LIKE stupid button mashers and blisters on their stubby penises…err…thumbs. They preferred NOT to be reminded of the realistic fights (they usually lost) as much as possible.
 
I dunno, I think it’s time for a comeback of the more simplistic/realistic swordfighting game…and apparently Classic Game Room Guy agrees as well…
 

To sum up, like the title of this post says, Double B REALLY IS in a class all by itself. It’s a fantastic game for that “retro video gamer party” to share and dare your friends to play. You will get a kick out of it, trust me!! 🙂

Was virtually UNDEFEATED in the versus mode( except that one time, when that big redhead girl accidentally beat him at that party, when nobody else was looking…SSSSH! ) ,
 
 
J. Devious, ESQ.
 
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