A NEW Review Of Star Wars: A New Hope

What’s going on inside your virtual friend Jimmy D’s head this day?
How about a little blog segment I haven’t done in awhile? Another (sorta) exciting installment of  Thrilling Cinema Thursday.
This time, I’m going to take on one of THE CLASSIC classic movies of our generation, the movie that may have well launched the entirety of sci-fi-fantasy loserdom err….FANDOM 😉


Star Wars IV A New Hope

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

(I can FEEL the excitement swelling within you….goooood….)

Then again, it COULD just be gas….right? 😛
“So What’s The Big Idea??”

George Lucas (the simultaneously loved and loathed evil…ly awesome movie-making genius) had this CRAZY idea to film a kind of “updated Flash Gordon epic saga” (only without Freddie Mercury’s awesome vocals to lead the soundtrack! 🙂 ) like the movie serials he used to watch when he was a boy.

Following the surprise success of American Graffiti, he got a tentative greenlight (though it was more like PALE green) to make the epic of his childhood fantasies. And thus, a legend was born.
A (sorta) long time ago in a galaxy for away…
(For all you few, you know, black people, who aren’t all white’n’nerdy enough to have seen it by now 😀 )

A chick named Princess Leia ( Carrie Fisher ) with Cinnabons for hair, sends these two goofy robots named C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) ( Anthony Daniels ) and R2-D2 ( Kenny Baker ) for help crash-landing on a desert planet after her starship is attacked by evil forces of an evil empire lead by the evil masked enforcer of those said evil, EVIL forces, Darth Vader (bodily acted by David Prowse and voiced by the most awesome voice in the universe James Earl Jones )

Did I get enough EVIL in there? lol

The two bots AKA droids, YES DROIDS, there,I  said it (don’t want you nerd fanboys jumping on my back) are looking for this old codger named Obi Wan Kenobi ( the late SIR Alec Guinness ) who was once this super baddass back in the day and who Cinnabons thinks can come and rescue her, despite being really freakin’ old. But see, the two bots are inadvertently sold to the family of young, fresh-faced and VERY Ken-Doll blond Luke Skywalker, ( Mark Hamill who also just so HAPPENS to be the ONE person on this whole freakin’ planet who is the son of the guy old Obi used to fight in the Clone Wars with…

Funny Luke Skywalker

(Cowinky-dink? I think not! 😉 )

Together the two of them, with the help of the baddest flying “space cowboy” in the universe Han Solo ( played by future legend Harrison Ford ) and his co-pilot who looks like a Bigfoot (but is NOT a Bigfoot, DAMNIT 😉 ) named Chewbacca ( Peter Mayhew ) go on an epic space adventure to save Princess pastries and thus, rescue the galaxy too.

Funny Han Solo 2

When you read it like that, can you see now why the studio execs thought ol’George just MIGHT have been smokin’ too much….herb?? LOL

“So…What On The Spacecraft’s Still Good?”
Obviously for a movie as legendary as this one is (or, as I am…in my own mind lol ) there’s A LOT of good. here.
A CLASSIC adventure story in new sci-fi clothing, the advent of modern special effects, some of the most memorable scenes in the modern movie era, awe-dropping space action, and creative set designs and locations.
When we look back on it now, it’s hard to believe just how new and original this movie really was for its time, or how CLOSE it was, in the minds of many suits, to being a failure. The Tunisian location for the Tatooine set threatened to destroy much of the equipment in sand storms, there was no certainty that ANY of the things that Lucas and the boys WANTED to do for the movie COULD be done with 1970’s movie technology, and much of it wasn’t.
 Most of us know by now about all the fuss Lucas made over that scene where Jabba The Hut is walking around in the hanger, personally, I NEVER saw what the big deal with it was, (HE’S JUST A FAT WORM DUUUDE!! 😛 )  but hey, it’s HIS movie…I guess, have at it! 😉
Plus, who can’t be eternally thankful to Mr. Lucas for creating the BADDEST-ASS weapon in movie history, otherwise known as the Lightsaber??
Cool Monarch custom lightsaber
(Call it a “laser sword” again, and you’ll lose a testicle!! 🙂 )
“It’s Like People Do Things Just Because They’re Paid…And That’s Just Really Sad.”
I’m probably going to be seen as committing BLASPHEMY here, but I’m doing it anyway…to a degree. As masterful and well-thought out a piece of film-making originality A New Hope, is, it’s STILL not perfect.
For all of Lucas’ brilliance as a director and producer, he is often a lackluster to downright terrible screenwriter…when it comes to dialogue.
Be SUPER honest now, just TRY and tell me you haven’t laughed your ass off over some of the lines in this movie and in the whole trilogy. (W-T-F is a “Nerfherder???” Or how many times in five minutes can they all say “Where could he be??”
And of course the classic line, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” is used so repeatedly that it’s become  a movie cliche’ akin to “Bullet Time.”
And don’t even get me started on how unbelievably unbelievable the love story was between Anakin and Padme err…yeah, wrong  Star Wars movie, but you get the point.. 😉
It’s almost as if all of George Lucas’ brain is dedicated to the “big picture” the scenery, the space ships, the gadgets, the widgets, that he often has trouble not turning his characters into “cardboard props” for all that techno-wizardry.
And does anybody not laugh at how goofy-awful the climatic “final lightsaber duel” is between Obi and Darth Vader. Say what you will about the yickiness of Phantom Menace, it STILL has the BADDEST ASS lightsaber fight ever filmed. Hell you could just skip the whole rest of that movie and just watch that,,,,
And for that… we thank you, Darth Maul.
Darth Maul Awesome
Final Thoughts
For all those minor nitpicks up there, A New Hope is a classic film, and it DESERVES to be considered so. It almost single-handedly resurrected the movie business, gave us an exciting new world of fantasy and excitement that will never be forgotten, and is still lived in 24/7 by many people to this day.

(I mean, did you know there are ENTIRE websites dedicated to making your own custom lightsaber props custom lightsaber duel movies, custom Jedi costumes, and not interacting with REAL people in the REAL world or having friends? 😉 LOL j/k. I actually think many of those people do a fantastic job recreating what they love.)

Bottom line, it’s more than 30 years later, and “The Force” is still with us. It’s now apart of our culture as much as apple pie, and hell, who wants a crusty apple pie, when you can have a lightsaber anyway?

Do yourself a favor, if you’ve never seen any Star Wars movie before,  begin at the REAL beginning, watch A New Hope already. It’s been more than 3 decades….what are you waiting for?? 😀

Meant to have the FORCE with him, but made the mistake of picking THE FARCE instead,
J. Devious, ESQ.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s