Evil Velveeta– Parody Song Sunday

What’s going on inside Jimmy D’s head this late Sunday afternoon?? Why, a little Parody Song Sunday. A new blog segment I’m launching. Like it? ūüėČ

And in the spirit of Super Bowl Sunday partying/overeating, I thought I’d do a little “tribute” to the All-American tradition of stuffing our guts!! ūüėÄ

Feel free to sing along, why doncha? ūüėČ

Presenting…

velveeta-man

“Evil Velveeta”

(Sung to the tune of “Viva La Vida” by Coldplay“)

I once biked through my world
My spandexed thighs were to be seen and not be heard
Wheatgrass smoothies, and chatting on my new IPhone
Doing the P90X thing, in my home
 
dorky cycling dudes
 
But I loved making Queso dip all night
With pounds of Velveeta, double salsa spiced
 Hearing as the fattie in my head would scream
“Double-meat-double-cheese whoppers now at Burger King!”
 
Burger King Creepy 1
 
Once I saw my toes when I peed
¬†Today I’m a super fat S-O-B
How those White Castles are tasty grand, with
a whole of shaker of salt and sticky Cheetos-cheesy hands!
 
Nacho Bell Grande
 
¬†I curse Nacho Bell Grande bells¬†for ringin’
Oven-fresh mac’n’cheese¬†drizzle¬†for¬†always clingin’¬†
Damn Velveeta’s silly product¬†Spieeeeel
For¬†giving me abs I can’t never find or feeeeel
I don’t care if ya¬†think my excuses are so lame
By the way, did you remember to buy nacho cheese for the big game?
Haven’t ¬†been able to plop a single¬†turd
Since Evil Velveeta took over my world
 
 I used to have a TON of friends
Until I started eating¬†a lotta’¬†cheese and breakin’ wind
Gaspin’ ¬†jaws …and¬†frantic¬†texter’s thumbs
They all¬†couldn’t believe what¬†a fat bastard¬†I’d become
¬†Cici’s Buffet¬†employees¬†laugh¬†and wait
 
cicis-pizza
 
To watch me put a slab of cheap cheese pizza on my plate
Stretched Sweat pants only up by a nearly broken string
 
fatty in sweatpants poster
 
Oh yeah, after this dude can we swing by the Burger King?
 

I curse Nacho Bell Grande bells¬†for ringin’

Oven-fresh mac’n’cheese¬†drizzle¬†for¬†always clingin’¬†
Damn Velveeta’s silly product¬†Spieeeeel
For¬†giving me abs I can’t never find or feeeeel
I don’t care if ya¬†think my excuses are so lame
By the way, did you remember to buy nacho cheese for the big game?
Haven’t been able to plop a single¬†turd
Since Evil Velveeta took over my world
 
Whoooaaaaa
(I wish I could poooooop!)
 
Whoooaaaaa
(Damn¬†he’s so FAAAAAAT!)
 
Whoooaaaaa
(I wanna  poooooop!)
 
Whoooaaaaa
(OMG¬† that guy’s FAAAAAAT!)
 

I curse Nacho Bell Grande bells¬†for ringin’

Oven-fresh mac’n’cheese¬†drizzle¬†for¬†always clingin’¬†
Damn Velveeta’s silly product¬†Spieeeeel
For¬†giving me abs I can’t never find or feeeeel
I don’t care if ya¬†think my excuses are so lame
By the way, did you buy more nacho cheese for the big game?
My gross jellyroll gut’s¬†all unfurled
Since Evil Velveeta took over my world
 
 
Not bad huh?
 
Probably the ONLY time you will EVER hear a Colplay song in my blog,
 
J. Devious, ESQ.
 
 
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