Food Porn Friday: Baco Taco

 
Delicious Bacon!
 
What’s clunking along up inside your man Jimmy D’s head this day??
 
Weeeelll…believe it or not, to inagurate my new segment, “Food Porn Friday” I have a craving for some tacos.
 
But not just ANY TACOS…oh no!!
 
I’m talking about a wrapping of near epic proportions. The kind of taco that makes every leg-warmer-wearing uber-vegan-bonebag-speed-walking Health Nazi cower in sheer terror at just the mere THOUGHT of it.
 
 
It’s the kind of food product that, like a hairy European fat man in a thong, is guaranteed to make an instant visual ….statement.
 
 
Lords, Ladies, Gentlemen, and Pimp-Limping Midgets the world over, I give you….
 
THE BACO TACO.
 
What IS the Baco Taco?? As if it could ever truly and accurately be described in words, nay, it can’t…but I still must try. And try, I shall! 😉
 
For starters, picture in thy mind’s eye a basket weave pattern…wicker latticed and crossed upon more wicker, a basket, thin and cheap, like those Eckerd Drug era Easter-Sunday-Surprises your mom would leaveth for you on the kitchen counter, stocked full to the brim with candy, eggs, and that weird plastic grass that nobody really likes, save your DOG once he hilariously begins to CHEW UP that Easter Basket, and some of that “plasty-grass” gets adorably stuck in his teeth.
 
Yes, my friends, YES…see that Easter Basket..
 
NOW….imagine with me if that basket-weave pattern were made…OF MEAT!!
 
But, this isn’t a weave pattern made from any old garden-variety chuck roast or, God-forbid, Salisbury steak, this is a baseball-glove pocket-basket weave made from THE MEAT OF MEATS
 
 
…Yes my sweet Concorde, I’m talking about….BACON!!
 
 sizzling bacon meat candy
 
The kind of THICK CUT SLABS of juicy, greasy, hickory, two-to-three fingers-wide strips of bacon that we all dream about in our sleep.
 
It is all carefully fitted over a specially designed frame with all the loving care and craftsmanship of a Venetian Glassblower…
 
Baco tacos cooking on a frame
 
 
….cooked to tender-crispy perfection. It is made to order, made just for you. You can fill it up to bursting with scrambled eggs, sausage, taco meat, cheese, hot spicy salsa, sour cream, whatever you desire, friend.
 
And YES, you can even choose to fill it up WITH MORE BACON!
 
I shant speak on it anymore, I will allow for the remaining “visual aides” enclosed to do all the talking for me…
 
the beauty that is the Baco Taco
 
And some more Baco Taco
 
The Majestic beauty of the Baco Taco
 
 
*Misty Eyed* 
 
Beautiful….isn’t it? 🙂
 
Boromir loves his Bacon Tacos!
 
Gaze in wondrous awe my Food Porn and Bacon Porn lover friends, gaze in awe.
 
 
 (And also if you’ve got a spare minute, don’t forget to check out yesterday’s Absurd Twilight Fanfiction or White Honky Wednesday: Dressing Up In Character )

Because EVERY weekend should start off with the sizzle of Bacon,

 
J. Devious, ESQ
 
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