Continuing onward with one of my current writing projects (see last week’s post for further info, the comedy video store novel) I’ve posted another rough draft chapter from the book, and it’ll probably be the last one from that project for awhile. It’s one of my favorite chapters of the ones that I’ve written thus far.
This one is told from the point-of-view of Kevin a clean-cut, 19-20-something “All-American boy” who is about as close to a “main character” for the novel as any one character gets to assuming that role. He’s in a lot of a ways, a total opposite of last week’s guy, “Jimmy Love.” Kev is fresh-faced, a hard worker, a few years younger, and not QUITE as jaded or as idiotic about his take on life, though he does have his naive moments.
The following chapter is one of the key subplots to the book, and illustrates one of those major areas of his innocent naivete. *LOLz * 😀
Oh, and although fictionalized, it IS closely based on an actual event from someone’s actual life…gee, I wonder whose?? 😉 lol
I hope you enjoy! 🙂
“And Then I Saw Her Face…Now I’m A Believer” –Narrated by Kevin Wright
I don’t think I’m anybody special.
At least, not as far as the ladies are concerned.
I mean sure, even in my rather short life thus far, I guess you could say I’ve had my opportunities to go out, have a cup of latte with a nice enough girl, etcy etcy and whatnot.
But why ANY woman worth her salts would bother giving ME a second look, I still haven’t figured that conundrum of errors out. Who am I anyway? It’s not like I’m all that tall. I can’t play any sports worth a lick (unless you count trick-shooting in a game of HORSE with Clay and making him aggravated as all Hades with me, or playing Air Hockey, “Sports.” )
There are plenty of guys that are smarter, were in higher level science classes and math classes. I mean crap, I couldn’t even make the cut to be a door-holder in the National Honor Society. There’s only two things that I’m certain I do at least PASSABLY…One, write stories, and Two, stacking boxes. That’s it.
MAJOR sexy pimp game, huh?
The guys here at work are always telling me all the time that “so-and-so” was looking me up and down, or Jane Schmo was laying it on thick the other day in the “Kids And Family” section, dropping hints about her not having plans for the weekend, and that somehow THAT subtlety means SHE was hitting ON ME.
Pbbbb….whatever. They’re so full of it!!
(What nicely brought-up girl keeps repeating over and over in a conversation with a complete stranger like me that she has no plans? And what does any of THAT have to do with “flirting??” It defies all logic!! I bet she was just being nice, that’s all.)
Very funny, guys!! I’m not falling for it!!
But nevertheless, SHE found me. I don’t know HOW she did it, but she did..
And of ALL THE TIMES TOO…I swear, I wasn’t even looking for her!
(Wait, just to clarify, no, it wasn’t the she in the “Kids and Family” section, that was just a hypothetical example to illustrate…oh nevernind. I’m rambling in my own head again. )
It wasn’t a particularly inspiring day in January in the newly-minted 21st century, the beginning of another “Spring” semester at King’s Forest Community College. I of course say Spring in” finger air quotes” because it didn’t look a thing like Spring ( a rhyme? cool! ) what, with all the dead, brown uninspiring vegetation on the ground, yellow grass, the crisp sweater chill in the air, and because this IS Southeast Texas after all. Southeast Texas in actuality only has two seasons; “Hot-As-Sweatballs Summer” or “Fallinter/Springinter “depending on your personal perspective.
(Because you see, it almost NEVER gets cold enough down here for a heavy coat and the temperature is always relatively warm, and even in January there’s always dead, brown, leafy Fall-like debri…youknowwhat…ummm… nevermind. Rambling again, sorry, sorry!! )
Moving on, Take 2.
To put it bluntly, it was a crappy day, and I was “one” with the crappiness. Lots of gray in the sky, overcast galore. Cigarette smoke clouds wafting in front of all the campus buildings. You get the idear.
And I was feeling sinusy wonderful. Yeah I had it all, the pancake-makeup face complexion of utter beauty, the deep-set circles, known by their street name as “Racoon Eyes” chapped lizard lips…and I don’t think I had gotten more than four hours sleep the night before.
So yes, I was totally a hunk. For sooth.
Fortuitous for me, as I said before, this was the first day of a new semester, and we all know what that means….On the first day, the syllabus is king.
Ah yes, the syllabus. That delightful piece of paper that introduces every college or high school course, so that even the most horrendous of idiots can understand what this upcoming class is going to be about; I mean it SAYS it right there on the top of the page in bold face 320-point font “English Composition and Rhetoric 1301.”
But, just in case you don’t feel like it, or are too scared to read all this by your little’ol’lonesome in the dark of your home….let’s waste an entire class period ‘esplainin’ everything that’s written on that paper.
Oh, it’s a win-win for all concerned though. The instructor can just read off something they’ve already put together at least a week in advance and not have to work hard to come up with an all-new lesson plan for the first day, pretending like this stuff is really important; and we, the students get to pretend that we’re dutifully listening to everything Maestro Instructor has to say; when all we’re REALLY doing is staring off into space and thinking about Belgian waffles.
This was all the high-functioning brain activity I had on my docket for that day. Shuffle (and sniffle ) about from amphitheater classroom to amphitheater classroom, half-listening and half-sleeping to each intense syllabus lecture and then around 3PM, call it a day.
(Allllllright…FINE…2:15, but don’t tell my boss that!! )
So right now picture it’s about five after nine in the A-M. Senora (or Senor ) Professora is already five minutes late, along with most of my soon-to-be classmates, but do I care? Not really. Why sure, there were some focused folk (girls) who were present with their butts in plastic chairs and ready-to-go at their chosen amphitheater table, but not a large mass of …studentage. (Like I said, all girls.) A few extra minutes of true snoozing was perfectly copasetic with me. For whatever reason, as my hoodie-covered noggin drifted off into the semi-drool-lubricated consciousness of my bookbag/pillow I thought…
… If you want to sleep so bad Kevin, why’d you pick a table near the front where Teach can see you?? Id-IOOOOT!!!
I guess all the years of being one of those gold star-sticker-collecting overachievers in my youth still has traces left over in my subconscious choice of seating.
So…after about a split-second or two of forever…I hear it. That voice.
“Uh, pardon me, excuse me…”
Pause. Now let me tell you, there are two kinds of people in this world, those who always assume in a scenario like that the person is talking to them, and those who don’t.
Yeaaaaaah…I’m a don’t.
I mean really, it’s a most prudent position to take, if you think about it. Like I said before, who am I to be so arrogant and presumptuous to automatically assume that voice is addressing me? In my quickie peripheral vision as I had collapsed into my seat, I had guestimated that there were perhaps 4-6 well-dressed well-prepared girls already in the classroom space. So if this voice, (this very FEMALE voice, I might add ) had a question to ask, wouldn’t it be reasonable to suppose that it was directed to one of her own kind? And NOT the goofy amorphous solid lying on a bookbag?
But that squeaky noise wouldn’t quit…umm…making noise….
“Uh hey, uh excuse me excuse me, excuse me…”
So NOW I’m starting to seriously struggle with my “inner lawyer” as to whether or not I should see what this was all about, I mean, what if she ISN’T speaking to me? I go and lift my forehead off the desk, look like a big doofus, and lose precious seconds of snooze time for what? Nothing, that’s what!
And then there’s the distinct possibility that EVEN IF she IS speaking to me, that she could be one of those nasty moocher raggedy-muffin type students who never brings any of the required materials to class, and if I let her borrow a pen, a sheet of paper, use of my cellphone, or bestow free jellybeans from my pocket on her now, I won’t be rid of her pan-handling again ’till May!!
…If you give a Mouse a Cookie, she’ll next want to borrow your Texas Instruments TI-83 calculator…and a glass of milk…
So… I elected to hope for the best, that this voice would just quit, you know, voicing herself, in my vicinity.
“Umm hey hey HEY THERE, excuse me!!”
Dangit! No such luck!!
Now at THIS POINT, I was totally devoid of any more avoidance strategies, so I gave into the inner voice of my bud Clay, who I KNOW if HE were here would be yelling at me with something to the effect of “Stop being a Big Pussy and turn your grapefruit of a head around AND LOOK already!! Gawwdd!!”
Pardon my French.
Alllright…I give up, you… very polite-sounding, yet INSANELY persistent young lady voice, I give the freak up, YOU WIN…I’ll look, but I SWEAR as all Hades, IF THIS is just a colossal waste of my time why…I’lll…
Instantly it happened. Instantly I forgot it all…my sleepiness, my sickliness, my grumpiness, my get-the-heck-away-from-me..ness. Every single thought that was in my head, Woosh. Gone. Yeap, it can happen to you…THAT fast.
There she was.
The she in question? Well you’ve seen Geena Davis in the movie Beetlejui…nah, nevermind bad example, forget that…Uhhh, OOO, ooo, I know! What about that really famous “Bust Of Nefertiti??” You know, the one that’s in the British Museum or, err that’s…No?? Seriously?? Don’t ANY of you ever watch TV programs on Egyptian Archeology for fun?? Yeah, you’re right, let me just start over. Uhhhh….
Well…I…I really don’t know what to say…my…my breath…just got sucked out the back of my cranium like one of those…umm…brain-sucking…breath…alien…umm…thingies?
Yeah, YEAAAAH! I got the wind knocked out of me, YESS, there you go…THAAAAANK you, uh, whomever just said that, a double ration of rum for that man!
She…she was sunshine. She was a spiral of twinkling stars, a summer wind that came a’blown’ in…from across the sea (no, I’m not gonna sing, I promise.) Time stopped, NO, slowed down. The Earth itself seemed to pump the very breaks on its own spin so I could get a good, long look at her, like the way your mind and body switches into “quantum physics” slow-motion mode in the midst of a potential car accident. Except this time, I was glad I ran into someone.
She was exactly what I needed…and conveniently located just a table behind me.
Luscious, rich velvety, pools of infinite deep-staring Swiss chocolate effervescence ringed by long eyelashes, that was the first thing I recall recalling as the light of her image began to penetrate to the back of my retinas. Then, those perfect bangs of licorice feather-down softness draped over her forehead; then the overall delicate diamond form of her olive-white face, with a dramatic pointy, yet still very feminine chin. Following out from there along her model-esque jawline, high cheekbones and cute mouth Dimple Number One, portside, and Dimplicious Number Two to the starboard.
Con/Sonar!! CRAZY IVVVVAAAN….this girl is ado-RAAA-ble!
In the finishing of my dumbed-down Dot-Matrix mind’s “printout” of her face, now that I think about it, her nose might’ve been a BIT big, but the rest of her was too unreal in its sweetness for me to ever notice how large that shnozz might’ve been again. Lips? What lips? All I could see were irresistible eyes, dimples and teeth, and what was THE MOST invitingly innocent, GENIUNE smile I had ever seen IN PERSON in my life, This was nothing at all like those cheap, plastic party favor type grins you get from flight attendants or like from the girl that rings up dirty, coming-on-to-her-all-the-time old horndogs at the Sal’s Formalwear in the mall; this buffet of bright pearly white was like something one sees the sweetheart heroine in all the romantic chick flicks give the Brad McCoughnehey or Matthew Pitt character love interest. A Sicilian-looking Audrey Hepburn popped into my life out of nowhere.
I never knew girls like that existed in real life…especially anywhere near the confines of King’s Forest Community College.
Oh mmmmmy… goodness GOOOness!
“…Uhh yeah UHH HI there, whoa ( little nervous laugh ) yeah buddy uh…”
Hold on there a sec, Pause, Part II. Are my feeble eyes and ears deceiving me, or did this lass just do some sort of, blinky flustered twinkly thing with her eyes when they first made contact with mine?? Did she REALLY say “Whoa” in there?? You DID hear that too…oh right, you weren’t ther…uhh. Yeah, it could be because I look so bad today..hmmm, wait…
Do I have a booger in my nose?? Yeah, maybe I do, I bet she saw a gross slimy booger up in my nose ’cause why would ANY young gorgeous woman like her do a eye-blinky thing like that for ME if there wasn’t a slimy visible-from-the-street booger in my nos-
“…If you don’t mind, could I PLEAAASE see what book you have for this class?? I, uh was kinda in a rush at the bookstore this ‘smorning so I’m thinking I might’ve gone scatter-brains and snatched up the wrong textbook…”
Textbook?? All that for a textbook???
So here I go, ruining forever the ideal “face pocket” made into the surface of my bookbag/pillow, all to retrieve my gigantic English Comp and Rhet 1301 textbook. Seriously, the thing was so thick, it could be used as a stair-stepper.
Oh yeah, and as I’m going for the book in question, I found myself doing so in a rather “dramatic” fashion. I guess you could say I pulled it forth from my bag as if I were wearing some type of phantom’s cloak over my shoulder, and kind of smirking in the young woman’s direction, building up the maximum amount of “suspense” to her own chuckles, before, Ta-DAAAH, revealing the cover to her in an underhanded flourish, with all the showmanship of one of those models doing all those funny hand gestures on The Price Is Right.
What the heck WAS THAT KEVIN?? Was that …FLIRTING?? I’ve never flirted with anybody in my life!!
It was a perfect match to hers.
“Okay WHEW! ( melodramatically wiping her arm across her brow in playful panic ) That’s a relief! Thank you, kind Sir. You have been… (a beat, staring, staring) …most helpful.”
And some more pregnant pausing and deep eye staring, by me, by her, by her and me, or some random combination of the above or…err..yeah…
Alriiiight then….my good deed for the morning is done. You may look away now, Ma’am. Or should I? Okay on the telepathic count of three, we’ll do it together. Ready? Onnnnne…twooooo…THREE!! LOOK AWAAY!!
Dangit Kevin, you were supposed to turn around and look away…I mean it now, QUIT IT!
Well, eventually after a few nanoseconds, we did return to our own lonely business, though I’ve got no Earthly idear who made the first move. Still, there was something oddly invigorating about that girl’s face, the way she looked at me…like I should know her from somewhere…or like, with those clear, deep-seeing basset hound puppy eyes, that she could see right through me…that she could see me at my most vulnerable..soul-naked.
Yet, I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I felt cobbler-warm to the core, and I wanted seconds of it. What the heck IS THIS??
FINALLY at 9:10 AM, our Professor shows her butt up. The Nicholas (as per my schedule sheet, thank you, Campus Office) is indeed a woman, knocking on the door of thirty years old and basically resembles actor Steve Buscemi after a sex change operation-meets-Goth, but our Ms. Nicholas, at last in the flesh, none-the-less. Interesting, now call the roll already!
Normally, I detest this. My last name happens to be Wright, so I have to sit there almost to the very end of the roll sheet, at full attention, just waiting impatiently for my nombre to be called. Yaaaawn.
Fortunately Ms. Buscemi…err…Nicholas opted to run an audible on us, and call the roll in REVERSE!
(Who does that on the first day of class?? Showboat!! )
“Wright, Kevin Wright, is Kevin here??”
For a split second, I thought about being a Smart Aleck (because I’m in college now, I can afford to live…dangerously) and answer with a very loud, asinine, “PRES….SSSSSEEEENT!!” But I was just feeling too limp…my tongue I mean…limp…yeah, whatever…rambling.
BUT THEN…who’s name should come up as the VERY NEXT ONE?? You guessed it!!
“And…uhhh let’s see uhhh…a…Wheaton? Melody Wheaton…where’s Melod-“
There she is…the voice I remembered. All resonant and Radio DJ..ish… beautiful in its golden THX-mastered sound, just like I knew it was, I had to turn around and look her in the eyes again, just to be sure it was still her.
(Okay, EVERBODY in the amphitheater turned around and looked at her this time, not just me. What can I say? The girl’s voice carries! ) Though as I recollect, she DID make sure to look back at me too…again. I wonder if she did the exact same thing when my name was called? Trying to match me up to my nam…err…nevermind.
Still, there was something odd about that name, Melody Wheaton (OTHER than the high probability that her parents had once been free-loving hippies living in sin at some point!) No, ODD, as in, something primordially FARMILIAR about that name, like I should remember it from somewhere…somewhere of once deep import…to me…somewhere in the far-flung past. From this point on, this riddle would begin to gnaw at me, as though something was not right in about the world. It would turn over and over again, like a splinter in the back of my mind….
(Yeah so?? I borrowed that last bit from The Matrix , what of it? Ya’think they’ll sue?? )
Even if it killed me, I would not rest until I solved the riddle of just WHO this mysterious Melody Wheaton was…
And then my mind began to entertain, just for a second, the absolutely unthinkable; Could it be, that I had ACTUALLY made an impression on her? That I’ve made as much of a difference in brightening up her day as she has mine??
Oh gosh…Could it really, REALLY be true??? Did something special between us just happen here??
Do you believe in love at first sight?
If so, has it ever happened to you?
Have you ever been completely “blind” to the fact that someone was into you?
A Happy Monday to you WordPressers and friends, one-and-all! 🙂
J. Devious, ESQ