Ragnar Lothbrok: More Money, More Problems

As Vikings Thorsday and Season 3 continue, it's not always good to be king when you're fighting other people's wars!

Hey Pressers! Whaaaaaaaaaat’s Happening?

Of course, it’s Friday! And what goes with a Friday better than Vikings Thorsday?

The place to hear some dorky Vikings fanboy blab about the show, and whatever else comes out of his piehole!

(Pretend folks, pretend! It’s the end of the week, let’s just have fun mmmkaaay? ;)

Once again, better late than never, my analysis video of Season 3’s Episodes 2-3 is now up on my Youtube Channel. Be a dear, and go peruse it, will you? ;) Sure, things have started off slow with Ragnar being essentially “sweetly strongarmed” by King Ecbert of Wessex into fighting somebody else’s war.

Things are getting mysteriously strange and “godlike” back home in Scandinavia as well as these new wanderer guy continues to woo his way into Queen Auslaug’s good graces.

My thoughts here

Also be sure to click the Subscribe button at the end to keep “abreast” if you choose of more of my Vikings fan videos, as well as future stuff about writing, novels, films, and other such awesome junkery! ;)

‘Till next time folks…Happy weekend and I’ll catch you n the flipside!

Jimmy Devious Signature

13 Seconds — by James R. Davenport

What’s inside Jimmy D’s head this day? The return of my blog segment, “Short Story Sunday.” 

This time, an extremely brief story piece that synthesizes some geopolitical/moral/philosophical issues that have been sputtering around in my mind lately.

WARNING: This is not a funny piece. It deals with serious subject matter. Reader discretion is advised.

It’s also an “experimental draft” of sorts on my part, so not everyone may like the style. But, I think most of you who choose to read it will get it. Anyway, enough pre-babble, I give you…

 13 Seconds a short story by James R. Davenport. It addresses one of the most troubling issues of our time, terrorist beheadings, from the point-of-view of the "dead" themselves. Does a beheaded victim live long enough to know they are dying? If so, what go through their mind?

Are they trying to scare me?

 

I’m all scared out.

 

After days of waiting with churning blades blended over and over again in the gut, with cold sweat caked atop more cold sweat all night long…this is nothing. It shouldn’t be nothing, but it is. The pool of fresh globby blood rushing outward on a floor of pocked concrete… all of it flooding away before my sight… crushed out cigarettes, too many crushed out cigarettes, fading smell of tobacco, feces, The dank shadows, limp arms and legs in orange…I wonder which one of us…can’t see the head? Bare white arm…three of us white, two brown, I hope it’s not Jonathan. He was crying all night, couldn’t pray. I held him like his big brother can’t. Now, too weak, to hold a thought much less a hand, too exhausted to move… to pick my cheek off the floor.

 

Get…get it over with…you…you jackasses, just g-g-get it over with.

 

I’m ready. I show my face to my God…you hide from your idols. Sons of darkness you are by your ch-ch-cho-oices…black masks. I told you to break my legs if you wanted me kneeling or to stand on a ladder, but I won’t bow, making it easy for you. I refuse to give in, sung a hymn proud and loud in your faces, your covered faces. Just a closer walk with thee, grant it Jesus is my plea. Let it be…d-do you hear? Let it be! There’s nothing holy about your book, written in the gnashing spit of centuries of envy.

 

I’m so…so…so… tired… of lying c-cold…send me home, sons of hate, send me home, pity you. You damn yourselves for all time with murder in your hand, You’ve made your video, hoping I’d beg before-before-before…laughed in your faces, in your only lens to the world…THIS is how a son of light behaves, I said, this is how a disciple of the true living one should act in the face of death, give them nothing but a smile…confessing the truth. All the taped, staged lies you-y-you planned…useless. Smack me on the spine, knock me to the ground, ga-go ahead don’t care, won’t take any of…of it back. Nothing but cowards, murders, weeds for the fire, that’s you, hope the others do the same. Did I shit myself? Yes? No? I…I dunno…smell’s gone now. Stand firm guys, stand firm.

 

Huh? Can hear that song, I feel the piano by the pulpit playing in the cell next door, Just a closer walk with thee, grant it Jesus is my blee…plea…gleeze-plea…peas…mmmNo, NO pleas…can’t think, can’t think straight. Cheeks-cheeks are numb, everything is spinning. No, don’t do it, don’t pass out, not-not-not-not now, not when your turn’s next. When they force you up, you’re nex-can’t-caca-can’t move.

Be strong, gotta be strong, show the others the way Mom’s strawberry preserves, Dad’s happy fingernails covered in oil…my first car, TransAM…turn the screw son, righty-tighty-lefty-Lucy you’ve gotta be smarter than the screw…Lacey’s perfume on our first date sixteen…sweet vanilla, can smell…steaks on the grill, Memorial Day cool green lawn ready to be mowed between my fingers, my son in my arms, his laugh, bay-bay-baby powder, wife’s eyes smiling come and meet your son, the day he was born, little hands and feet, pug nose, so proud I am so proud. Mom, Dad, Teeball Sixth Grade Fall Ball, Bible Camp, flying by, blinking slow, I-I can’t breathe. Hold it, hold it in, jaw’s dripping wet…can’t breathe, hang on damnit hang on for the others! Think the ceiling light is ready to burn ou-no… spots, spots before my eyes, red spots, growing, bigger, taking mauve-err—drover-STOP IT-ov-ov-over my eyes and seashells on my ears. It feels like seashells on my ears, muffled everything’s going purple-black-purple-black, and the spots, the spots, trying to get air get air get air…muffled ears garbled sounds…dark, so dark, pain in my throat, pain is my throat. Oh no… That body on the floor… left thumb has…scar…just like…like when I…a cut from a soup can lid years a-ago… seminary…oh…o……h……no…it’s…it can’t be? It’s so far away…God it’s done…already d-d-uh-duh-done? Didn’t… feel… The-the-they did it… How am……am I…I…alive? Black all black…except the sparks…the fluttery sparks……my eyes filling up-over-the-moon-cow-jump-over-the-moon-Goodnight Moon, ……reading to Trav………

…………………………………………

…………the black………… over-ov…………… the black…

………pounding vein in my…………my ears…pounding……………p-p-papound faster…

……………………………………………………………

slower……

………bleeding…from…bleeding from…………

…………………………

………………

………chin……bloo-oh Je…………sus remember me……… courage…re……re……………

……………………………………

……member………………… bloo…d out………………

Lace s-s-sorry…………I- I………………………

………love…………………… little Trav I lov-……………………………

I………………dead…oh God carry……m-m…e…………………

Ho……m……e…………dead-d-d-dead………

…………………

……………………………………………………

good……………………

 

………b………ye-

 

 

EPILOGUE

 

On September 4, 2014, five volunteers from a joint American Protestant/Middle Eastern Christian missionary aide center in Al Anbar Province, Iraq were taken by a splinter group associated with ISIS/ISIL. Seven days later, on the 13th anniversary of 911, all five were executed. Their case garnered attention when a video of the first victim, Joshua Bowyer a 29 year old Baptist youth pastor from Murray, KY was released. In it, he is shown being savagely beaten but still singing in defiance of his would-be executioner. His final words being, “This is how a man, a follower of the true Messiah Jesus Yeshua meets death. We will not be intimidated.”

Despite the grizzly nature of its footage, the “Bowyer Video” is being widely circulated among congregations all over the globe as a tool for inspiring the faithful, as well as for all who oppose terror tactics.

 

The human brain is capable of processing 20 million-billion computations every second.

 

Strong anecdotal evidence from the historical record suggests that a severed head remains conscious after being cleaved from its body for exactly 13 seconds.

 

Vikings Thorsday…On Sunday (I guess ;) )

Bjorn Ironside tells Pappy Ragnar he's thinking of a career change!

Yeaaap…

My most sincere apologies blog-followers for not getting this up sooner, but I had a mite bit of trouble with the copyright bot program over at the Y-tube, and had to thus reedit my ENTIRE video to avoid getting flagged again.

(I most certainly could have contested it on grounds of Fair Use, and I know it’s not personal, but who wants to fiddle-fart around with all that mess if they can help it?

Anyway, Vikings Thorsday edition 2 is here! Better late than nevers! ;)

The place to hear some dorky Vikings fanboy blab about the show, and whatever else comes out of his piehole!

This time around, I waxy verbage and words about Season 3’s opener, Lagertha’s new scheming boytoy pop singer…eer…I mean manly warrior number 2, and whether the crowns of Saxon kings should’ve been made of chocolate.

Go check it out and subscribe to my channel on Youtube…you’ll be glad you did!

 

(Alledgedly :P )

Also, I may try to sneak in an installment of Short Story Sunday before the day is out too. But if that doesn’t happen expect something in here on Sunday next…

(Alledgedly :P )

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Is there Too Much CGI in Modern Movies?

Heya there WordPressers/loiterers and bloging peeps!

 

It’s not entirely the fault of Yours Truly that I haven’t been here. To the point,

I give you my intended LAST WEEK’s Thrilling Cinema Thursday on today’s Tuesday….why? (Read below ze pic…I promise it’s brief! ;) )

CGI Van Helsing Has CGI in Film gone too far

(Don’t worry, she’s not nekkid, and it’s fake!)

Yeah, I’ve been battling the Youtube Copyright bot for a week to get this final segment of Infinite Geekiness Episode 4 up.

Infinite Geekiness Podcast With Jimmy Devious

(In short, Universal sucks and is running a video clips racket IMO :P )

So you should probably go check out the video RIGHT NOW…because who knows if the oversensitive copyright-protect droids will let stay there by tomorrow. Run run, quick like a bunny! (or just watch right here!)

Bottom line, I really think movie studios don’t have a clue how to deal with the relative rise in sales of games and the correlative decline in ticket sales/butts in the seats when compared with said video games. Sooooo they deliberately make movies that look like “videa’games” to appeal to said gamer demographic.

It sucks. :P Who wants to sit and watch something that LOOKS like a video game in its special effects…when you can just go play a real one instead?

Also, if memory serves correctly, wasn’t the T-Rex in Jurassic Park an all-CGI creation? If so, why does something that was made BACK IN 1993 look so much MORE realistic than stuff squatted out in 2014?

Annnyhoo, these are the things I think about. You’re welcome. :)

If all goes well, I should have another Vikings Thorsday this week as well…

Stay peeping and sharp with your shapie peepers!

That is all.

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Vikings Thorsday: Will Season 3 Be The End For Ragnar?

Heya W’pressers!

How’s it hanging?

(Did I just type that? ;) )

Jimmy D’s been looking for a replacement TV fandom-ish segment ever since the end of BN and my regular Burn Notice Debriefing Friday As you can probably see (or read) I think I’ve got the sucker locked up! Presenting…

The place to hear some dorky Vikings fanboy blab about the show, and whatever else comes out of his piehole!

Kicking off this first installment over at my Ytube channel, I pose “curious” questions about the show’s upcoming Season 3 on History Feb 19,  (aka NEXT WEEK) most controversial of all, is this year Ragnar Lodbrok’s last ride in the series?

There are some interesting images in the trailers for Vikings fans.

Watch and listen to my “brilliant” blog gabbage analysis and..uhh…thoughts on it right here…

Looks like things are starting to get intriguing and backstabby…HMMmmmm…

What do you think, fellow fan in the shield wall…

What are you expecting to see in the new season of Vikings? 

Or…what would you LIKE to see?

That is all for now folks. Also, if you’re on the Ytube. be sure to watch to ze end and SUBSCRIBE!

Gracias. Hopefully, I shall also have some new stuff for you on the morrow here as well!

Smellyalater bloghommies! ;)

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Star Wars The Force Awakens: Better Later Than Never

Hey there Pressers, Jimmy D back again!

 

(Hoooooly crap! TWO posts in less than 2 weeks? Throw a freakin’ party! ;) )

 

It seems my inability to even keep to my own blog-resolutions knows

No bounds of slackery. :P

 

Still, I’m doing better already than my posting level last year…

 

Annnyway, the first episodic installment video of Infinite Geekiness Episode 4 is up at my Youtube channel

 

Infinite Geekiness Podcast With Jimmy Devious

This time around is all about the Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens teaser-trailer-CGI-out-the-butt pleaser, and my thoughts on the upcoming trilogy.

Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens arrives December 2015

 

If you’re as overanalytical as I am you’ll adore it like chocolate-covered cornflakes.

 

Clickidy click over there,  you’ll be glad you did. (maybee)

 

 

That is all for now.

Jimmy Devious Signature

New Year Resolutions, Same Old Dorky

It's Monologue Monday at my blog
Hiya W-to-the-‘Presser folk once again.
How’s it hanging?
*question very rhetorical don’t bother answering.* :P
I’m going to keep this blogpost short and sweet (or is it sweet’n’petitie, unsure of the proper stale cliche’ here) because I’m really only NOW starting to bring my virtual presence back to life after many looooong months of stasis.
Daaaayuuum, that sounded sexy. Not.
Point is, I’m coming back, slowly but surely. I should have a new podcast eppie ( eppie= translated episode for the sane and not trying to be cool lol) coming forthwith to you hopefully by the end of the week. So, there’s that.
I also resolve to try to put up at least two blogposts in this thingimajig a week for all of 2015.
So far, half-good. Let’s see how long I keep to it folks/blog followers who are left/virtual drifters/carneys. Shall we make a bet on it?
(Nah, nevermind, I don’t actually have anything to bet…unless you enjoy eating packing peanuts…and orc blood ;) )
Annnyhooow, I’ve never been one to keep resolutions. Who cares if its a new year right? It ’tis but an arbitrary number on a calendar…much like government spending pledges and penis measurements. ;)
So that’s my first post of 2015…the old year is dead, long live the new one.
Random-blog-viewing-stranger, what are your thoughts on New Year Resolutions?
Keep’um? Ignore’um? Too drunk (on geekery) to care?
Lend me your thoughts. (Like you did me that leaf blower I still haven’t brought back…I know, I know but, it’s still sticky! )
Happy 2015.
Now, let us away to the kitchen, for some nachos…and orc blood covered packing peanuts.
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Why I Think The Sims 4 Will Probably Suck

The Sims 4 sucks

 

Hiya Pressers!

I’m still not “officially” back on the radar (but I’m working on it…like the new blog banner?  And will be soon!)

 

But I wanted to make a quickie mention of yet another new episode of my Infinite Geekiness Podcast

Infinite Geekiness Podcast With Jimmy Devious

In this episode I “reheat” a segment I intended to put in Episode 2 of what I think about the upcoming Sims 4 (soon to drop in stores on Sept. 2) SPOILER ALERT: I’m super duper thrilled as you can  tell by the title!

 

Also, Spiderman 2002 VS Spiderman 2012...ish. My own take!

Spider Man Vs Spiderman

 

Listen to it all right here, check out my other podcast episodes on Spreaker

You can also find it on Podbean

…OR if you need something more visual, you can listen/watch me (sortof ;) ) on Youtube right here at my channel

 

That is all for now, more to come…SOON!

 

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What If George Washington Were A Zombie?

Oh yeaaaaaaah Pressers!

Round Two of my Infinite Geekiness Podcast is up!

 

Infinite Geekiness Podcast With Jimmy Devious

In this segment I dscuss (with myself ;) ) How very American Geekiness really is, and how very close I may or may not have come (in an alternate universe) to meeting the “Father Of Our Country” as a flsh-eating zombie…WATCH!

TO catch the entire episode, DOWNLOAD HERE (It’s FREE!)

Podbean

Spreaker

Hope you all had a safe and Happy Fourth and as always, I’ll catch y’all on the flipside.

J. Devious, ESQ.

BACK FROM THE DEAD: Announcing My All-New Podcast!

First and foremost…

HOLY CRAP it’s been a VEEEERY long time since I’ve been on this thing!

 

(I’ve had some financial issues to deal with, so a LOT of my writing pursuits  had to b put on hold.)

Suffice it to say I WILL be coming back more and more to the ‘Press, albeit gradually. I plan to redesign this blog with a new theme, new segments, and everything!

But, until all that happens, guess what?

(Yep, I suppose the title was a spoiler huh? ;) )

 

I’ve launched the Infinite Geekiness Podcast!

Infinite Geekiness Podcast With Jimmy Devious

As the title suggests, it’s just for fun, going to be mostly about nerd stuff, but they’ll be other little mish-masheries thrown in for good measure. My first episode is already up, check it out!

7:30- “Movies That Could Probably Use A Remake”

I gab on the lost opportunities that were Michael Crichton novels-turned-movies
14:38- “The Dusty Booky Cornery Of My Brain…y”
Darth Vader and Son by Jeffrey Brown

16:08- “Video Game Jump Scares”

I wax on moments in gaming history that skeeered me as a lad
(Even though they weren’t meant to…maaybe. I was kinda a Puss!)

20:34- “Lunchboxes Of Yore and Today”

Hint: A certain adorable 80’s movie furball had a staring role with
my PB and J’s

23:14- “Closing Thoughts”

If you’ve made it this far, then you’ve endured my first podcast.
you deserve a cookie for that. (If I had a cookie, that is.)

TO DOWNLOAD

Podbean

Spreaker

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE!

(Just listen and watch! ANNND you get a few cheesy images thrown in here or there! ;) )

More to come…and I’ll catch y’all on the flipside! :)

J. Devious, ESQ.