There’s a lot of neat-o stuff to see in Texas. If you’re willing to get down to the BOTTOM of it…that is!
What’s inside your happy friend Jimmy Devious’ head this day?
Why, I just thought I’d launch off a new blog segment that gives a little pride and “cultual” info about my own home state of Texas. Surprisingly, I thought I’d dub it Texas To The Bone Tuesday. (Never saw that title coming huh?
And to start things off, I’d though I’d address why a lo of you yankee-folk up there have heard wrong about Texas. Sure, we have our “moments” of goofiness….
….But Texas just might be cooler than you think. Herein I have five reasons why, so hear me out!!
5. We Were Once Our Own Country
Yeap, it’s true. For 10 years, Texas was it’s own independent Republic, and if you actually come down here and take a look around, you can totally believe it’s true (and no, I don’t mean because of the “culture shock” for all you “Yankees.” )
Texas straddles three major climate zones. It’s why in terms of culture and climate Houston is called the Bayou City and really has more in common with New Orleans than El Paso, and why El Paso in turn has more in Common with Albuquerque than Albilene, and Abilene has more in common with, well, Abilene (Kansas) than all the above!
So no, its not just a whole lot of “braggadocio” that’s why the Texas flag always flies equal with the US one, it merged as an equal partner with the US, no other state can claim that…so there!
4. The Zany Whimsical Nature Of Texas Zoning Laws
Yes that IS a roller coaster..and YES, it’s right next door. You gotta problem with that??
When my folks first “returned home” to Texas…
(the state where they has long ago established our family’s residency even though we were traveling/living all over the place as per Dad’s military career)
…We used to always have quite the laugh over the fact that in a local shopping center near us there was a Pacho’s Mexican Buffet
(“Raise the flag BOYEEE, and get me some sopapillas and honey now…STAT!” ;) ) right next door to of all things, a QUICK WEIGHT LOSS CENTER
But in the looooooong tradition of bizarre Texas zoning rules (particularly in the Houston area) THAT’S nothing! I’ve seen liquor stores near schools, strip clubs near schools, an army surplus store or an ammo depot near a gas station, places that sell gas, booze, live bait, and chicken AS A DIVE THRU for your convenience!
And yes, even the Kemah Boardwalk’s roller coaster within yards of somebody’s house.
We Texans don’t like everything in our towns TOO predictable or community-planned to death. Down here, as is also true with our weather, if you don’t like what you see on the corner, walk and turn another one dude, and it’ll probably change. Dramatically.
You’ve gotta love that!
3. Great Tunes, Great Booze!
Of course everybody knows (whether they really know it or not ) that Texas happens to be the home of some utterly history-making music barons. ZZ Top for starters…
…And you’ve got Willie Nelson, TONS of Live Music venues, Austin City Limits, SXSW and whatnot…
Oh yeah…and we also like our drinking too. But believe it or not, it’s not all just about Shiner Bock.
There’s also an ENTIRE CULTURE of home-brewing and distilling down here so you’ll have something to drink with all that great music!
Down in Texas, we like our suds and our songs the same way, home-grown, unique, and awesome!
2. Really Hot (and Interesting) People (Okay, Mostly just Chicks! )
Yeap, I’m sure you’re been expecting me to drop in here the “obligatory” pics of Texas hotties, beauties in cowboy hats…
Hottie Coeds in Aggies gear…
Hottie Coeds making the “Hook’um horns” gang sign…
…and you’re so right, unfortunately (Shutup! I’s only flesh-and-bone you know, with an accente’ on “BONE”
…But the POINT (puny-pun-pun!
) of this part of the list is, that “appeal” is not just limited to heavily booze-drinking-probable-cheerleader-party-girls or those who splay themselves upon lowriders at auto trade shows. Honestly, as I’ve said before (and will say again and again) I’ve lived in A LOT of different places in my life, and NOWEHRE were there more beautiful, smart, attractive, and independently capable women in a single square mile than in Texas.
Just as a taste, in Texas, a woman like THIS ONE could be living right next door to you…right now…
She’s a Texas-based bloggertte named Samantha who specializes in home decor and stuff. I was looking for a great example an an everyday “normal” woman to illustrate my..uhh…point…and she just happened to pop up…heh.
(I’m not normally into that kind of chickie design stuff, but if you’re a chickie too like she is, have a mess of younguns, you should probably check her blog/site out. There’s some tastefully-done stuff there. Plus, she’s a Mom and is cute as a button! *PROPPERS* )
Texas women are truly a cut above the rest. Period.
and finally because of…
1. The “Texan Code”
A cowboy guy (from the Village People and I guess…a..baby?? (There’s a reason I posted this pic. Read below! )
You often hear a lot of yap about guys, guns, and bravado coming from Texas, and yes, while some of it is true, and some of it’s exaggerated, there is also an underlining unwritten “code” of behavior that goes along with it.
You could have two Texan men in some random bar somewhere else in America, one could be as stereotypically “macho Republican looking” pickup-driving Cro-Magnon-cowboy-badass as the other Texan is Prius-driving-Austin-weird and homosexually “flamboyant.”.
These two Texans may NEVER want to live near each other, may not like the same music, eat the same foods, become erect over the same type of human beings ;) vote the same way, or anything else you could possibly imagine…YET…
There is ONE THING they will always both agree on…every time.
You want to unite this ”odd couple” together? Talk “smack” about the Texas homeland Yankee, go ahead… I dare you…Hell, I DOUBLE DOG dare you.
It doesn’t matter which one you pick on first, lousing on him for his Lone Star home, you can bet dollars-to-doughnuts (or even better, Dougnuts-to-MORE-Dougnuts :p ) that the other Texan will jump up in and have the other guys’ back!
(In a strictly fighting together, mano-e-mano sorta of way, of course! )
You see, when you’re living in Texas, or are from Texas, it doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, or who you were before you got here, when you’re one of us, you’re ALWAYS one of us.
MAJOR SECRET OF LIFE REVEAL TIME : All that talk and guns isn’t just talk and big hats and buckles. We look out for our own here!
To be a Texan is more than just to be from (or to choose to be from ) a single state, it’s a choice to embrace a culture, a true “Lone Star state of mind.”
Deep in the heart of it all, is really a simple idea. to embrace the boldness of doing your own thing, to chase your big dreams. We’ll not only defend our rights to live the way we want to, (however that happens to be) but we’ll defend yours too.
It’s the code Brother, it’s the code!
And what’s cooler and more human than that?
Texas…because he can be,
J. Devious, ESQ.